i know what i want.
change seems to be taking over my life lately. But in a good way though. I am not complaining. if i seem a bit melancholy, i am because i just got yelled at by three different people. You know that hollow feeling you get whenever you are yelled at? that's how i have been feeling for the past hour and a half..
so i have been wondering alot like i do, and it has been about alot of things not really related per se, but i guess that's just like me too. together but random. tonight when i got chewed up i really just wanted a friend to say it was okay and to come and hold me. i have been missing my daily quota of hugs these days.. much to my sadness.
i have so many questions lately. like when i should actually be done with school, if i should really take four classes and why. maybe i should audit them and save money for later. what do sertain people really think about me and what do i actually think about myself. When will i actually stop messing around and pursue the life i should be living. there is an opportunity in my life right now to minister to an older lady. i tried to call her yesterday and she didn't pick up. i didn't even know what i was going to say if she did pick up. i have felt ashamed sort of because of the inadequecy i have been feeling about myself in relation to ministry. i guess i have just been ashamed of the person i am.
i want to be a good daughter. i want to honor my parents and be a blessing to them. i want to please God and worship him with my life. i want him to penetrate every inch of who i am, what makes me Cassie and i want to love others deeply. Like the Father. That is what i really want. i mean there are other things too, but what i really want is to want the right things at the right times. i know there is a right time for everything. so yep, thanks for taking the time to read this.