I am not ready for it yet, but I long for it to be right. I long and look forward to the time when I will know. The rightness of it all will tell me that I am ready for it. I am not in a hurry. I know that there are many profitable things for me to do now, while it is just Christ and me. And I know that I will regret things if I choose what I think I want for life now rather than choosing what I need to choose so that the love of Christ will be perfected in me. I want to learn to love people, learn and relearn compassion and graciousness. I want to learn to be a kind person and an amazing wife. I have many flaws. None of which are too great for God to mold into something glorious for himself, and none of which would be impossible to extract while in the midst of a relationship. Nevertheless, I do not want to be so close. I want and desire friendship, but that is all. I want brotherly affection and I do not want to withdraw and be untouchable. I want a friend. Someone I can study with and talks to about important things... someone who likes being my friend… someone who is genuinely like me but different…someone who happens to be a guy. I think it is just that I feel overwhelmed right now and I should be focused on other things. But in case anyone wants to know, this is where I am.