Sunday, September 10, 2006


I am not ready for it yet, but I long for it to be right. I long and look forward to the time when I will know. The rightness of it all will tell me that I am ready for it. I am not in a hurry. I know that there are many profitable things for me to do now, while it is just Christ and me. And I know that I will regret things if I choose what I think I want for life now rather than choosing what I need to choose so that the love of Christ will be perfected in me. I want to learn to love people, learn and relearn compassion and graciousness. I want to learn to be a kind person and an amazing wife. I have many flaws. None of which are too great for God to mold into something glorious for himself, and none of which would be impossible to extract while in the midst of a relationship. Nevertheless, I do not want to be so close. I want and desire friendship, but that is all. I want brotherly affection and I do not want to withdraw and be untouchable. I want a friend. Someone I can study with and talks to about important things... someone who likes being my friend… someone who is genuinely like me but different…someone who happens to be a guy. I think it is just that I feel overwhelmed right now and I should be focused on other things. But in case anyone wants to know, this is where I am.

Saturday, September 09, 2006


Rocks at our graves
Tell of who we used to be
And we’re gathered
For more than our family or friends
We are waiting to be raised again

All I see is rest
No more distress or
Waiting for silence
This is peace I do not understand

Beyond what I can see
Behold, waits the Creator
To come, to show me what I’ve been missing
I’ve been missing Eden

To be where there is no sin to fight
No thing to fear, but perfect love,
Step into this other world and
There is no time
When it’s over, it’s begun.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006


so this b-e-a-utiful day i decided to go to the park and read. while at the park with my lug of a sys theology book, i meet this guy who decides he wants to talk to me about religious stuff. we had a really great conversation. he agreed with me about somethings and then, when in a different light he disagreed on the same issue. it amazes me that a person with his knowledge still does not accept the truth. it breaks my heart. he was talking circles around himself and basing his belief on something that was spiritual but not life-changing. he says that he believes that the bible is true, but then he denies its power by saying that in its translation men altered the meaning of it and the only real book given directly by God was the book of revelation, bc of the instruction at the end about not adding or subtracting anything from the book. He knows his facts. He knows the history. he knows what he thinks and what he believes. he even knows specifics. but he has no compassion. he wants debate. he is in love with contradicting the truth and finding paths around it. my heart goes out to him and pleads that he see and that he know and that he feel the weight of the gospel and that he is overcome by the love of Christ.
Dear friends, please pray for him that his eyes would be open that he could hear the words of Christ in the whole word of God, the Bible, and that he would not be deceived by the evil one he believes is non-existant. And pray for me as well, that the Lord would work through me and that i would be faithful to the gospel, that is my hope.